“I’ve reached page ten thousand and fifty-nine. Completed. I must do this. This is my life in front of me. Hold on, what does this all mean? Not a Skooby!” This is the very beginning of my time in prison, all those 11 Ramadans ago. Remand. Belmarsh. Trying to understand the case against me: “Joint Enterprise” and case-papers stacked up to my shoulders. Then the realisation my reading age was 11.

Once the post-conviction smoke had dispersed, a remedy for ignorance became paramount. I proudly became a student, of Education, Religion, Legal Studies and many other subjects. However, I faced a crossroads: continue straight as a conventional student, GCSE, A-level; or jump onto the (final charity funded) express motorway – Open University, ill-prepared for the long journey ahead. I knew this was an opportunity I could not lose. And, as one teacher reassured me, “Your tenacity will pull you through.” Motivation and drive were certainly my strengths.

At the time the destination was clear, an earlier ambition, Structural Engineering. However, prison is never simple. Engineering courses were deemed a security risk within the high security estates. Thus, I had no choice but to study all the peripheral subjects related to Engineering. Mathematics, once an old enemy, now became an ally.

My studies began very nervously, unsure and always second guessing myself. However, deadlines would force me to overcome nerves and execute the task in hand. Just as the reputation that precedes it, mathematics proved to be very difficult. Nevertheless, learning had to be in layers, taking incremental steps which continuously reinforced itself, expanding my knowledge and ability. This was all very well; but my English needed some attention. Fortunately, I was able to enrol for an English A-level in my prison, alongside my OU studies. English became an escape from maths (a paradox), and today it remains a destination of creativity away from the ‘shackles of mathematics’.

The journey into mathematics and engineering was very difficult within the secure environment. The lack of fellow students in the same subject really forced me to confront some tall walls alone. Equations which would keep me up days on end. However, perseverance would be rewarded, understanding would unveil itself, and a flood of confidence, enthusiasm and passion would return (stronger).