Guilty! The impending doom struck in abundance and following very shortly after was the realisation that life as I knew it had ended. I was guilty of a lot of things looking back; a lack of consequential thinking, a lack of foresight, a lack of common sense, immense stupidity, wanting and pursuing something that I didn't need, an inability to accept and be comfortable in my own skin and self and to be me. Hindsight and reflection is a wonderful thing and I can know, identify and accept that the combination of these things contributed to me receiving another guilty conviction leading to the words “You shall spend not a day more than 15 years in prison”. The judge labelled me a “skilful and clever manipulator of the criminal ropes” and delivered a narrative effectively describing me as Beelzebub incarnate.

Do I regret what I got myself involved in, what I did and all those errors and deficiencies? Yes! Do I wish I could turn back time? Yes! – and I would in a heartbeat. Dwelling in the past and ruminating on those things was never going to rewrite them but I do have an opportunity to write my future and equip myself to learn from those mistakes, not make them again, and build a new future.

I make it clear from the outset that I don't seek to preach or claim be an authority on prison, merely that I am a commentator sharing my experiences of prison and The Open University (henceforth, OU). From the humble beginnings of my youth, I walked a path that although long-winded and fraught with adversity brought me into contact with the OU. It is an institution that I describe as a force of nature in the best possible way – a force that carried me along with gusto to achieve goals and develop skills and characteristics I can take pride in.