Published: Civil and Military Gazette, 22 October 1887.

Attribution: In Scrapbook 3 (28/3, pp. 149–50).

Text: Civil and Military Gazette.

Notes: Reprinted in the suppressed City of Dreadful Night, 1890, in the Martindell–Ballard pamphlets, and in Harbord, iii, 1618–21, The German of the title is presumably RK's own.

As a conspiracy it was infamous, and in the hands of unscrupulous men might have been dangerous; seeing how foolish women folk are.

But, worked with circumspection, as Houligan, Marlowe and Bressil worked it, it secured to three dear sweet girls with money, the right of paying Houligan's, Marlowe's and Bressil's bills for the rest of their days; and, as every one knows, all is fair in love or war. Houligan claimed and was allowed the honour of the Inspiration; Marlowe put fifty rupees into the pool, because he chanced to be the millionaire of the month; Bressil, like Mr. Gigadibs, was a “literary man” with no morals but exquisite tact, knowledge of fitting opportunity, which was more than the money or the idea. He was the Napoleon of the Bund, and his contribution was a book, in two volumes, “Phantasms of the Living” written by some of the members of the Psychical Research Society. Houligan had an Indian Telegraph Guide, and on this library and the fifty rupees, the Bund opened the campaign. Two men united can do a great deal, but a threefold cord can draw Heaven and Earth together.

The Bund was desperately poor, and, collectively, had not enough good features in it to make up one handsome countenance to go wooing with. It was unlucky in its love-affairs, for it failed to interest young women; and, even when it did, the parents said it had better work and earn twelve hundred a month before calling again. On occasions like these, the Bund used to smoke vehemently and arrange for a revenge.

Houligan's ambition was to drive over Miss Norris's father in his dogcart; Marlowe desired to poison Miss Emmett's mamma; and Bressil, like Job, wished that Miss Yaulton's brother-in-law had written a book.