I ran into Brenda Davis in public in the winter of 2001, about two years after interviewing her for this project. Brenda was, in fact, the very first participant to be interviewed for this study. Her partner Kim Pierson, whom I interviewed separately, was the second. After we exchanged greetings, I began to apologize to Brenda for the fact that she had still not received the promised “report to participants” from the study, and I assured her that it was forthcoming. “Oh, that marriage is over,” she said with a sigh. After about eight years together, Brenda and Kim had separated in fall of 2000.

Circumstances did not permit an in-depth discussion of the breakup at the time of our chance meeting, but a few weeks later I decided to call Brenda to see if she was willing to be re-interviewed. I explained to her that people often asked me whether my study included the perspective of couples who had “married” in a public ceremony and then subsequently “divorced.” This was not part of the original research design, but my chance encounter with Brenda provided the opportunity to incorporate at least one study participant's experience of same-sex “divorce.” Brenda agreed to the second interview.

A few weeks later Brenda came to my home, and we talked for about an hour in an interview that generated a few chuckles but more tears. I asked Brenda to describe the circumstances of the breakup, in whatever level of detail felt comfortable for her.