I now switch my gaze from the particular to the general. In this chapter,I explore the ways in which literary texts may act as points of transformation in the face of the grief, loss and despair so eloquently expression in this poem by William Carlos Williams. Having considered in detail how Leo Tolstoy and Gerard Manley Hopkins each wrestled with the dilemma of their existence, including their profound though radically differing religious experiences, I broaden my horizons to reflect on themes and perspectives that have emerged from my own reading over the past five decades, with the help of some contemporary literary criticism.

Starting with James Joyce's portrayal of suicide as an everyday temptation, I discuss Al Alvarez's ambivalence towards the act and his conclusion that it is nothing more than a denial of experience. With Peter Porter, I reflect on the cost of seriousness and consider what other options there may be for us when life seems too difficult to continue: perhaps the gritty endurance of Stevie Smith and my mother; perhaps the political awareness of Zbigniew Herbert and Seamus Heaney; or perhaps the creative fiction of Nick Hornby and Matt Haig. With reference to David Foster Wallace and my patient Leigh, I discuss the inexplicability of suicide to those bereft by it and consider – with the help of Graham Swift and Maggie O’Farrell – how new ways of living may emerge for those who are left behind.