God would judge the soul, but medieval gentle society would judge by outward appearances. Gentility did not merely reside in the solidity of land and wealth, but in the often intangible qualities of presentation and display. Status was reflected in homes and material possessions, in personal appearance and modes of behaviour. While good birth could not be taken away, claims to gentility had to be continually demonstrated and justified: a gentleman was expected to lead a particular way of life.

The dual purpose of a gentle lifestyle was to convey exclusivity and superiority. Peter Coss has argued that one definition of gentility would be the well-developed sense of social difference between the aristocracy and the rest of the population. The formation of a class-conscious group was reflected in the development of distinctive codes of conduct which were predicated on the view that outward behaviour reflected inner virtues. By the fifteenth century, these codes prioritised the qualities of courtesy, generosity, piety, self-discipline, polite conversation, knowledge and wisdom, and were expressed through activities such as service and patronage. Reputation and display were central to the gentle identity. Many of the signs and gestures involved in these actions will not have troubled the historical record. The visual impact of a house or hairstyle, or the reception of a nod or comment, are rarely found. More readily available are the written works that might have informed decisions and set the rules of appropriate behaviour.