Warning: This Is a Parody

This is not a legal form and should not be confused with legal advice. This document sets forth the policy an organization has in place by default if it does not have suitable intellectual property provisions in its employment and consulting agreements. The Non-policy is written tongue-in-cheek as if the organization had affirmatively decided to accept only the minimum duties imposed by law, without any of the typical obligations companies impose on employees by agreement.

NONMISSION STATEMENT

The Organization is opposed to managing intellectual property a matter of principle. In a spirit of generosity to its employees and competitors, and courage in the face of daunting liability, the Organization has established the general policy of not requiring employees and consultants to contribute to the strength of the Organization's intellectual property position.

This employee intellectual property non-policy is consistent with the Organization's overall intellectual property goals, which are:

1. (1) The Organization will not seek a return on its investments in innovation, despite its duty to its shareholders to do so, and will not use intellectual property tools to help it fulfill its mission.

2. (2) The Organization will depend on its insurance to cover liability for mismanagement of intellectual property.

3. (3) The Organization will permit competitors to use the Organization's intellectual property in research, development, and marketing of products and services.

4. (4) The Organization will allow free-riders to enjoy the fruits of the Organization's efforts without sharing the benefits.

5. (5) The Organization will not respect the intellectual property rights of others and will bravely face exposure to liability for infringement.

6. […]