At the end of the last chapter we suggested that the study of language and sexuality should encompass not only sexual identity but also other dimensions of sexual experience, among which we mentioned ‘fantasy, repression, pleasure, fear and the unconscious’. In this chapter we will discuss these other dimensions under the general heading of ‘desire’; and we will try to demonstrate concretely how researchers might approach the topic of language and desire. Before we proceed, though, it is useful to say something more about our reasons for wanting to move in this particular direction. What does a focus on desire have to offer that a focus on identity does not?

First, a focus on desire acknowledges that sexuality is centrally about the erotic. This might seem self-evident, but in practice it has not been central to research conceived in an ‘identity’ paradigm, where the key question is how social actors use language to index their membership of particular groups (e.g. ‘gay men’, ‘lesbians’). Erotic desire is implicitly referenced in this paradigm insofar as the relevant groups are defined by the nature of their desires (most commonly, for someone of the same / the other gender), but it is rarely an explicit presence in the interactions researchers analyse. Bonnie McElhinny points out, for instance, that the literature on gay and lesbian language-use has been dominated by studies of what she calls ‘queer peers’ (2002: 116–17).