From polemic that denotes a crisis in family life, bemoaning the loss of the ‘traditional’ family, to suggestions of increased agency in the creation of ‘families of choice’ (Weston, 1991), contemporary familial relationships provoke much public and sociological debate. While the impact of gender transition on relationships with parents, siblings and extended family differs with individual circumstance, to present instances of positive interaction and of disconnection the process of transition will always take place to some extent within the social framework of kinship. With this point in mind, the first section of this chapter explores gender transition within the context of kinship relationships. Initially I address the significance of support and care from parents and other family members for people beginning gender transition. The section then moves on to explore the narratives of participants whose transition led to fractured relationships with their family of origin.

As discussed in Chapter Two, various studies have shown that friendship is increasingly significant within contemporary practices of intimacy (Altman, 1982; Rubin, 1985; Nardi, 1992; Weeks, 1995; Weeks et al, 2001; Roseneil, 2003; Roseneil and Budgeon, 2004). Friends are seen to be as important as partners or family members and, for many lesbians and gay men in particular, friends are positioned as family (Nardi, 1992). The latter part of the chapter situates friendship as a significant site through which to address altered dynamics of intimacy within the context of gender transition. Here the concept of ‘friends as family’ is considered in relation to previous discussions of fractured familial relationships. Finally, the chapter explores practices of friendship in terms of the impact of gender transition upon existing friendships and in relation to discussions about the significance of friendships with other transgender people.

Kin relationships

Support of family

The support of family members, and particularly parents, can be seen to affect significantly both the decision to begin and the experiences of gender transition. For younger people, parental support is particularly significant. In the following quotation, for example, William (age 25) discusses how the support of his family gave him the confidence to begin transition as a teenager: