Undisturbed by such considerations our bond became so strong and close, that rarely would a day pass on which we did not mutually exchange visits and notes. Of course, the content of these was curious, brightly woven from particular expressions and allusion that only we understood, from musical movements and wild pictures; for Felix also had diligently practiced drawing, and particularly in the area of landscape, as I had in capturing human form. Soon we discovered that the art that we really had in common was not music, but drawing. For music imperiously puts an end to all conversation beside her; drawing, however, es-pecially when a pair of faithful friends are peacefully sitting next to each other, draws forth even more lively conversation, and if momentarily the conversation should flag, then a look at the other's work, or a call for help from one or the other will always renew it.

But our mutual conversation easily took on peculiar forms, particularly when it turned to matters, for example instrumentation, which from a strict point of view are inaccessible. I still recall, the sort of astonished glances back and forth that Droysen produced, when he, during a visit to my room had to listen to me saying to Felix: here pure purple must be used; here the horns dampen the splendor of the trumpets; and Felix replied: no! no! that is too much screaming, I want violet.

And yet this relationship had to end. —

Or rather, the basic difference in our characters, way of looking at things, and musical directions finally, in spite of everything, finally become increasingly clear to our feelings and our awareness. Did he move away from me? Or I from him? - the latter would have been entirely unfeasible, even had it been within my nature. For I had taken his side too frequently and too definitely, and spoken out about him in my journal. The former - at the time, I saw the matter thus, and the feeling of simply being abandoned by him was for me a corrosive drink of vermouth, that long years later still had a bitter aftertaste. Now I think that I can see more clearly. The external separation was simply nothing but the necessary consequence of the inner separation, which both of us had avoided looking at for such a long time.