Published: Civil and Military Gazette, 15 May 1888.

Attribution: In Scrapbook 4 (28/4, pp. 62–3).

Text: Civil and Military Gazette.

Notes: This was written when RK had returned to Lahore, after half a year's absence, to edit the CMG in the absence of the regular editor. When the issue for the 15th came out, RK wrote that ‘It's a full paper, done with a fuller heart and may the Unpunishable Cherub, whom I have thinly disguised in the similitude of an allegory, forgive me for its blunders’ (to Mrs Hill, [12–14] May 1888: Letters, i, 176).

Reprinted in ‘Turnovers’, i, 1888, in the Martindell–Ballard pamphlets, and in Harbord, iv, 2037–9.

“Turning now to a consideration of the financial aspects of the question we find – it will be obvious – we cannot fail to be impressed by …. Which is the best expression?”

“Tan I tum in?”

That's the Cherub, and if he intrudes to-day, small hope of the “financial aspect of the question” ever being considered in a proper and solid fashion. If I keep quiet, perhaps he will depart. No! The idiot of a chaprassi has told him that “the door is shut,” and The Cherub has never found door of heart or house shut in his dimpled face yet. He won't take that for an answer. He is beginning to hammer on the lower panels with his fists.

“Tan I tum in?”

I will sink my voice into my slippers, and peradventure scare him away. “No, you can't, Cherub.” That silenced him; and I can hear the patter of his little feet dying away in the direction of the nursery. “But if we consider the financial view of the matter, it is obvious that, in the face of an annually increasing Imperial deficit” – that's good – “Imperial deficit.” Where is that fat report with the blue back? Good gracious, Cherub, what are doing here?

“I tummed in by the window.”

“Oh, you did? Then go out by it again.” When Love comes in at the window, I know what happens to Work. “Cherub, hump yourself!” The Cherub looks at me with grave disapproval. “I doesn't know what you means. I is tum to see you w'ite.”