Published: Civil and Military Gazette, 1 October 1887.

Attribution: In Scrapbook 3 (28/3, p. 147).

Text: Civil and Military Gazette.

Notes: Unreprinted. RK had himself just acted in a play at Simla, taking the role of ‘Brisemouche’ in a farce called A Scrap of Paper, an adaptation of Sardou's Les Pattes de Mouche. The performance, in the first week of September 1887, was at the new theatre in Simla, but it was, RK later wrote, ‘a dull play which fell flat’ (Letters, i, 239). In the CMG, ‘Le Monde ou L'On S'Amuse’ is printed in run-on form to fit the restricted column space; for convenience I have put it into conventional play form, with a new line for each successive speaker.

A.&E.S.M.:– “Is everybody here? Where's Hortense?”

Voice from Prompt Side:– “She's tired and she told me to say” ….

Contralto, R.C.:– “Oh! How can you! I saw her going to Jelliti's with” ….

A.&E.S.M. foreseeing a storm:– “Well, anyhow, we'd better begin.”

Decisive Soprano:– “At the second act of course.”

A.&E.S.M.:– “No! The first, without books.”

Chorus, seven feminine voices:– “How horrid!”

A.&E.S.M. (apologetically):– “I told you so last week.”

Mezzo-Soprano tartly:– “Yes! But I haven't had a minute to call my own for the last ten days; and there's a dance to-night and to-morrow I'm dining”….

Voice from L.:– “And I had it guipured on the bias, with a good tuck in box-pleats over green chevelure, and green boutons of purple je ne sais quoi at the gathers where the breadths are taken in, and a sacque over the left shoulder, and chenille pompons all down the back.”

A.&E.S.M. hopefully:– “Well, now, I think we'd better begin. Ermintrude, you come in first.”

Ermintrude hastily:– “Oh! do I? What do I say?”

A.&E.S.M. wearily:– “That is for you to decide.”

Ermintrude viciously:– “Well, if you're going to be rude of course –”

A.&E.S.M. penitently:– “On my honour I didn't mean anything. Only please go on.”

Ermintrude sulkily:– “‘Since first I saw your face’ – but surely this chair is in the way.”