When I was an orchestral musician, some chief conductors had an “in” group in their orchestras. Other players resented this because it created a two-tier hierarchy, the “haves” and the “have-nots.” The little groups were viewed with suspicion and had a negative effect on the orchestras' unity and morale: players outside them felt demeaned, unappreciated, or even insecure. John Barbirolli was an exception: he had a number of personal friends in the Hallé orchestra but was so revered and adored that it wasn't an issue for the other musicians. Before a conductor develops close personal friendships with any of his players, he has to bear in mind the divisive effect of jealousy.

In my own experience as player and conductor, I've found that musicians like their musical boss to maintain high standards yet still be approachable. They want you to be a good musician and a decent human being who's capable of cordial yet fully professional relationships. The professional part needs to be preserved in case a musician has to be criticized or replaced. You can't fire a friend. Most chief conductors stick to this and avoid socializing with individual musicians or small groups. Of course, it's different if there's a big celebration or if a musician suffers illness or bereavement, in which case a note or call from you can mean a lot. I'm not suggesting you should be a social outcast, merely that you should be evenhanded in your dealings with all the musicians, without showing favoritism.