In writing this book, I had in mind anybody interested and sensitive to the question of self-consciousness, how it originates and how it shapes our lives, arguably the most important and revealing of all psychological problems. Why are we so prone to guilt and embarrassment? Why do we care so much about how others see us, about our reputation? What are the origins of such afflictions?

My answer to these questions is that it is because we are members of a species that evolved the unique propensity to reflect upon themselves as object of thoughts, an object of thoughts that is potentially evaluated by others. I argue that this propensity comes from a basic fear: the fear of rejection, of being socially “banned” and ostracized.

From this simple premise, I propose to look at young children and their development, but also at many other intriguing human propensities, to see what they have to tell us about the social origins and nature of human self-consciousness.

I invite the reader to this exploration, an exploration that I value more than just another academic foray. It is an invitation for the exploration of what it means to be human, alive in this world, and how we construe our being in relation to others.

This book is meant to be more than an academic concoction for the few initiated specialists. Based on empirical observations, primarily developmental observations of children, it is a book of ideas guided by strong existential intuitions regarding the human condition.