PREFACE

Most people want to know when dey buy a book who is de author ov it. So one says to another, “An who is dis Tom Cladpole wot maaks sich a fuss about he's travels?” Why Tom ent ashamed ov he's clawney, so he wishes me to tell ye a liddle about un. Our family is an old feshioned one. Ol' Cain was de fust an urn, an he jes wos a gurt Farmer: ye may be sure ov dat, fer he built a City; now uf any ov our Farmers build a Barn, a Stable, or even a Hog-poun, 'tis though much ov! Howsumever uf dis Cain wos a gurt man, he was loike a dunna-many other gurt men, good for naun; but good or bad, he wos de Father ov all de Cladpoles, an 'twood taak me up a wick to tell about um all.

So I shall onny goo back to Tom's Granfuther, dat is to say my Father, who about half a hundred years agoo or dereaway, used a Farm ov about twenty acres under one Sqyer Squeezer – about dat time de French kicked up a rout and cut der King's head off! Dat made our King so lamantable crass fer fear dey would cut he's head off too, dat he set to fighten de French at a robben ov a rate, an all dat was able was off a soageren: an ever since da time dere has been too families ov de Cladpoles – de gurt Cladpoles and de little Cladpoles.