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8 - MY BROTHER'S KEEPER
Published online by Cambridge University Press: 30 July 2009
Summary
My brother, who is the oldest child, lived only seventy-five miles away from Mother…. I lived 900 miles away…. He could have provided more help and support to my mother during her last six months…. I'm having a difficult time forgiving him for not being there more for my mother and sister.
NORA, AGE FIFTY-ONEMy sister has been a great deal of support for me since my mother's death…. She is twelve years older than I am and we have always seen this age difference as something that has kept us from being closer. But now she has played a leader and mentor role. This has really made me feel very respectful towards her.
ANGIE, AGE TWENTY-NINEThe death of a parent can provide siblings with the opportunity to come closer together, to share their loss with others who uniquely understand the nature of the loss, and to provide and receive support that may ease the loss. On the other hand, the death of a parent is a stressful event: Property must be settled and dispersed and old sibling rivalries and inequities may resurface.
Questions about sibling relationships elicited some of the most lengthy and emotional responses in my interviews with bereaved adults. One of the clearest themes in these interviews is that one cannot generalize about relationships among siblings, even in the same family.
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- Death of a ParentTransition to a New Adult Identity, pp. 171 - 193Publisher: Cambridge University PressPrint publication year: 2003