In the movie Stand by Me, the following existential debate ensues: ‘Mickey’s a mouse, Donald’s a duck, Pluto’s a dog. What’s Goofy?’ ‘Goofy’s a dog. He’s definitely a dog’ ‘He can’t be a dog. He drives a car and wears a hat’ ‘Oh, God. That’s weird. What the hell is Goofy?’ In the legal classification of collective violence, cross-border fights between non-State and State forces (transnational conflicts) are Goofy, failing to neatly fit into any recognised category. It is important to classify them, however. Peacetime violence is regulated by ‘general’ international law, whereas armed conflict is regulated by radically different law: international humanitarian law (IHL). IHL is purportedly subdivided into two distinct corpora, setting apart the law governing international from that governing non-international armed conflicts.