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9483 results in Social psychology

Page 130 of 475

  • 12 - Giving and Receiving Feedback

  • from PART II - YOU AND OTHERS AROUND YOU
    • By Joshua Alt, newly minted graduate of the University of New Mexico School of Law, Nathalie Martin, University of New Mexico School of Law
  • Nathalie Martin
  • Book:
    Lawyering from the Inside Out
    Published online:
    18 May 2018
    Print publication:
    07 June 2018, pp 182-193

  • Summary

    I never lose. I either win or learn.

    Nelson Mandela

    Experience is the name we give to our mistakes.

    Oscar Wilde

    Experts in attorney professional development believe that the ability to seek and receive meaningful feedback is one of the most critical attorney traits. According to founders of the Holloran Center, Neil Hamilton and Jerry Organ, seeking out feedback is a key element in becoming a self-directed, professional attorney. There is no doubt that receiving feedback gracefully is incredibly important to your career. In the words of law Professor Pamela Foohey, “Getting and receiving feedback is the ultimate part of any professional job. A person's ability to accept feedback depends on the circumstances of the job and what the feedback is about. Being able to recognize how to give feedback changes with context and is super-EQ.”

    Yet feedback, and self-awareness in general, is not always pleasant. For example, not long ago, my husband and I (Professor Martin) helped a friend of a friend fill out the eHarmony questionnaire to help him find a good relationship. He had been slipping into harmful relationships for a long time, perhaps a lifetime. He is not much of a computer guy, so we helped with the initial form. As he filled out the questionnaire, he gave himself a six (the top score) in every category. The computer programeventually shut him down, deciding he was not an actual person. We do not know him well, but a lifetime of experience told us there had to be something for which he was not a six. We suspected it might be self-awareness.

    As another example, I recently learned that I have a great propensity to start many things, but not much of a drive to finish them. I did not learn this on my own. Someone told me. Actually many people may have told me, but we all wait until we are ready to learn our own blind spots. This chapter is designed to help you learn yours. Once you do, life is easier.

  • Foreword

  • Nathalie Martin
  • Book:
    Lawyering from the Inside Out
    Published online:
    18 May 2018
    Print publication:
    07 June 2018, pp xiii-xiv

  • Summary

    I am astonished how effortlessly Nathalie Martin names, clarifies, and explores the perplexing, disorienting legal – yet deeply human – dilemmas we encounter, in such clear and simple language. Obviously an excellent teacher, her classroom acumen naturally carries over into an easy elegance throughout her writing, which makes this an eminently readable book.

    She speaks with fierce wisdom and a refreshing depth of understanding. She examines those places where, following a legal calling, one invariably finds our most noble, universally accepted truths – justice, fairness, guaranteed access to “one's day in court,” a fundamental equality before the law – directly clashing, at times violently, with the sloppy, uncooperative “facts” of “real life.” These painful realizations can disrupt, challenge, and even ridicule our more hopeful expectations that anything we are called upon to defend equitably or represent as true will ever be an “easy” case.

    Still – she honors the pain and confusion of being a lawyer in a world of exponential complexity, and fearlessly, yet mercifully, attends to this ever-changing rule of law in the world, as it intersects with the more personal, intimately tender gifts and challenges we encounter in our own inner and outer lives.

    Can the arc of our inner life bend toward justice?

    Martin does not shrink from addressing this question. As the world increasingly demands we function as part of an efficient legal machine – churning out more opinions, convictions, closed cases – what if our humanity (especially those irrational, intuitive, quiet knowings of the heart; things that both slow us down and invaluably aid in our discerning more accurately what is authentic, right, and true) ultimately helps us build a more just and honorable world? What if these emotional, sensitive, invisible knowings, our “human inefficiencies,” are demonstrably the most valuable tools in our toolbox? How can we honor the spirit, rather than merely the letter, of the law, if we lose our ability to hear those still, small voices of our own spirit, speaking clearly and reliably within us in every moment?

  • 1 - Gaining Self-Awareness

  • from PART I - NURTURING YOUR BEST SELF
  • Nathalie Martin
  • Book:
    Lawyering from the Inside Out
    Published online:
    18 May 2018
    Print publication:
    07 June 2018, pp 7-20

  • Summary

    Tear down this house. For under it lies a treasure far greater than you could ever imagine. Tear down this house, for a hundred thousand new houses can be built from the transparent yellow carnelian buried under it.

    Rumi

    You can certainly become a lawyer without becoming more familiar with yourself. People have been doing it for centuries. There is no doubt, however, that selfawareness is a trait we all value in others.

    Today, many people expect their lawyers to be more interpersonally skilled than perhaps in the past. Rather than mere legal technicians, people expect lawyers to listen and act with humility, compassion, and an understanding of the human condition. New American Bar Association rules suggest that lawyers be trained in self-reflection, as well as interpersonal awareness and skill, yet most law schools still do not train lawyers in these essential skills. Lawyers with these skills will always be in high demand. This is because self-aware lawyers are better at resolving conflict, which is one of our main jobs in society.

    William Ury of the Harvard Program on Negotiation and Harvard Negotiation Project calls the process of mindful self-awareness “getting to yes with yourself.” In his book by the same name, he explains the many benefits of mindful selfawareness:

    The process of getting to “yes with yourself” not only makes it easier to resolve conflicts, but it also actually helps prevent conflicts from arising in the first place. By not reacting, by staying calm, and grounded, you will avoid being provoked and will be less likely to take attacks personally. You are far less likely to say or do things you will later regret. With an attitude of sincere respect and a genuine willingness to help address the needs of others, you will be able to resolve matters long before they escalate into serious disputes. You will get along naturally with others with a minimum of conflict.

    This book, on the subject of attorney professional development through mindfulness and emotional intelligence, is designed to help you accomplish these goals and others. Through the practices outlined in these pages, we hope to help you reach the state described by Ury above. We also hope to help you experience less stress, become more focused, and eventually experience deep job satisfaction.

  • 4 - The Lawyer in Society: Popular Culture Images of Lawyers and Your Self-Image

  • from PART I - NURTURING YOUR BEST SELF
  • Nathalie Martin
  • Book:
    Lawyering from the Inside Out
    Published online:
    18 May 2018
    Print publication:
    07 June 2018, pp 48-55

  • Summary

    This chapter asks you to examine your personal role in the profession through the lens of society's perceptions of attorneys. We ask that you place a vivid image of yourself as a lawyer front and center in your mind, and then read about lawyer jokes and images of lawyers in books, television, and movies. We then return to your own view of yourself to think about your professional identity formation in the law. We study themedia and the jokes to see how we can work together to dispel negative images of our profession. As you no doubt know, lawyer jokes and negative images in the media are incredibly prevalent. Indeed, when hearing that we are writing a book about mindful lawyering, many people assume it is a joke about an oxymoron.

    Lawyer jokes and media images of lawyers may not be totally accurate, but they do provide a window into the public's perception of our profession.While these jokes and television and movie roles may be funny or entertaining on some level, they portray lawyers in a way that perpetuates deeply negative stereotypes. Many of these jokes also have an ounce of truth in them. As a profession, we need to look at ourselves, our training, and our practices to see what can be done to change not only our collective image, but our actions. The goal of this chapter is to lead you on the path toward creating this necessary change in the profession. In this chapter, we examine the roles of lawyers in society from the perception of the general public, so you can imagine and find your place in that world. First, however, we ask you to visualize yourself as a lawyer.

    YOUR PLACE IN THE LAW

    Your Image of Yourself

    LAW PAUSE

    Think about what people said when you told them you were going to become a lawyer. Write a few sentences about the themes of these reactions.

    Little Pause: Think of your favorite positive image of a lawyer in society. Now think of a negative one. Muse for a moment about where these images come from.

  • 15 - Making Mindful, Client-Centered Decisions

  • from PART II - YOU AND OTHERS AROUND YOU
  • Nathalie Martin
  • Book:
    Lawyering from the Inside Out
    Published online:
    18 May 2018
    Print publication:
    07 June 2018, pp 215-220

  • Summary

    Good decision-making, particularly in a service profession where decisions are made for the benefit of another, is critical to good lawyering. While claims ultimately make their own decisions, in many complex legal settings clients can only decide with the thoughtful help of their clients. In reality, lawyers make hundreds of decisions a week, many on behalf of clients. Yet research shows that most lawyers prefer to rely exclusively on order, structure, and reason when making decisions, particularly when compared to the general population. Other people, including clients, may not appreciate this fact-based, highly structured approach. In fact, good decision-making requires cultural competence, the subject of the last chapter, as well as good listening skills. More balanced, empathetic decision-making skills can also help us in our personal lives.

    Before making an important decision on behalf of a client, engage with the three preparatory steps below. Then use the practices in step 4 to actually make the decision.

  • 1. Get yourself in order, go up to the balcony, and take an inside look. What are you thinking or feeling? Use your mindfulness techniques to check in and see where you are and what you are up to, what you are thinking and feeling.

  • 2. In client matters, put yourself in your client's shoes. Before making big decisions for a client, use your listening skills and your cultural competence to consider the similarities and differences between you and your client. For similarities, bring back a time in your life when you felt similarly, based upon a previous situation in your life that mirrors in some small way what the client has experienced. Then chart the ways in which you and the client are different, perhaps on gender, race, age, sexual orientation, disability, or economic status, or even more subtle cultural issues of some kind. Do not overlook one difference that will be present in most representations. You know the legal system and the client does not. The client is likely scared and worried about accessing the system through a third party, you, who are essentially still a stranger to him or her.

  • 3. Go back and examine your own motivations.

  • 16 - Purpose, Creativity, and the Practice of Law

  • from PART III - YOU AND SOCIETY: FINDING GREATER PURPOSE
  • Nathalie Martin
  • Book:
    Lawyering from the Inside Out
    Published online:
    18 May 2018
    Print publication:
    07 June 2018, pp 223-243

  • Summary

    This chapter describes the relationship between purpose, creativity, and satisfaction in your career. It begins once again with awareness of each of our unique strengths and weaknesses, as well as an examination of our passions. The chapter ends with ideas about how to transform our experiences with the law to create the most meaning in life.

    WHO AM I?

    Who am I?

    Am I spirit or flesh?

    Am I sacred or secular?

    Am I irrevocably shaped by the circumstances of my personal history, or am I still free to move and grow, to uncover a new and brighter path?

    Am I fragile or strong?

    Am I broken or am I whole?

    When I listen deeply to my inner life, what do I hear?

    What is the substance of my soul?

    What is the core of my being?

    What is my true nature?

    Wayne Muller

    If you are more self-aware, people will respond more favorably to you. As a result, self-awareness is your ticket to better relationships and a happier and healthier life in the law. Self-awareness serves an even more critical function, however, as it helps you learn what is important to you. With self-awareness, you will be drawn to what is important to you, consciously and unconsciously.

    In her book with Karen Gifford, The Anxious Lawyer, Jeena Cho explains that throughout the majority of her career, she worked harder with each passing year, but never gave much thought to why she was working harder or what she was working toward. She changed jobs a few times and worked harder at each successive job. Cho felt certain that becoming a partner, climbing the ranks, and having more and more clients would make her feel fulfilled.2 As she explains:

    I wasn't exactly unhappy. I just felt lost. I felt overworked, and constantly exhausted. Then I returned to a practice I had abandoned since law school: meditation. Through meditation, I was able to calm my mind, which was constantly operating in overdrive. Once I found stillness, I had space to examine my life.

    Why are you here? What makes you feel alive? What is the unique gift of yourself that you are bringing to all of us?

  • Introduction

  • Nathalie Martin
  • Book:
    Lawyering from the Inside Out
    Published online:
    18 May 2018
    Print publication:
    07 June 2018, pp 1-4

  • Summary

    Welcome to legal education and all that a law school education has to offer. There is virtually nothing as eye-opening or personally fulfilling as finding ways to help solve society's problems, which is one thing lawyers do. Studying law is challenging in all of the right ways. It is intellectually stimulating, socially valued, useful in everyday life, and meaningful on multiple levels. It also opens doors in ways few other educational opportunities do. The fact that you are studying law makes you one of the fortunate few.

    This book is designed to help you make the very best use of your legal education, and to help you develop your professional identity as a lawyer through mindfulness and emotional intelligence practices. Some might find it frivolous to study professional development, mindfulness, and emotional intelligence in law school, particularly compared to the study of contracts or torts. However, teaching professional development in law school is a trend that is hitting law schools by storm. While law was not the first field to jump on the bandwagon, the importance of teaching valuedriven purpose, as well as personal well-being, is now well-recognized in law, medicine, and all of the professions. This subject matter is incredibly important to your future, and by the end of this book, we think you will understand the significance of the subject matters covered here.

    Mindfulness means learning to live in the present moment and to do just one thing at a time. For lawyers, mindfulness exercises can help in three fundamental ways. On the most superficial level, these practices can reduce stress. On the next level of practical utility, these practices can help us keep calm, stay focused, and, as a result, increase productivity. On the most meaningful level, mindfulness practices can help us find our life work and our purpose here on earth. The practices are simple but the results can be life-changing

    Some exercises ask you to practice being still, and others request that you be actively reflective. All are designed to help with one of these fundamental goals: calm, focus, and purpose.

Page 130 of 475