Born in southeastern Turkey, Selvi was twenty-two years old and pregnant with her fifth child when I met her in June 2010, while conducting research for a report on domestic violence. Her husband started his attacks when she was pregnant with their first child. “That first time, he hit me, he kicked the baby in my belly, and he threw me off the roof,” she said. “The baby survived but I think [the child] has a mental illness.” The violence increased in frequency and severity, and by the time I met Selvi, even included their children.

Selvi’s husband controlled every aspect of her life and was extremely jealous. She told me: “He rapes me all the time, and he checks my fluids ‘down there’ to check I didn’t have sex [with another man].” In 2008 Selvi finally built up the courage to go to the police, after her husband had “broken her skull and arm.” The police brought her husband to the station, gave the couple some food, and sent them home, telling her, “There’s no problem, we spoke to him, you’re back together.” This happened three more times, the violence worsening after every attempt to escape.

The abuse was continuing when I spoke to Selvi in June 2010, during a heart-wrenching interview in a small community center. Her husband gambles, rarely works, and frequently abuses her and the children. She was too afraid to send the children to a government dormitory. Indeed, she had simply given up on escaping the life-threatening violence. “I just cannot go to the police anymore,” she said.

Selvi’s story represents everything that can go horribly wrong when domestic violence is not taken seriously.

Widespread Violence in Europe

Selvi is not the only woman suffering this abuse, and Turkey is not the only country battling it. Domestic violence is a worldwide epidemic, and the European continent is no exception. This violence affects people of both genders, but the vast majority of domestic violence is still endured by women. Children also suffer horrible violence and the effects of children having to witness violence between parents or other trusted grownups are long lasting.

Women throughout Europe are slapped, kicked, beaten, locked up, sexually and psychologically abused, genitally mutilated, raped, forced to work, and killed by men in their immediate social environment.