This chapter focuses on the connection between shame and mistakes and presents some of the outcomes of recent exploratory research involving social workers and social work students.

Being wrong is an emotional experience. It is not only the recognition of a deviation from external reality and an internal change in what the subject believes and their consequent acts; it is also the condition of being stuck in wrongness with no immediate way out (Schulz, 2010). This is unpleasant, especially when accompanied by the sight of the damage done and when internal or external voices not only blame for the wrong action but also criticise the person as a whole. The shift from ‘I/you made a mistake’ to ‘I am/you are a mistake’, that is, ‘I am/you are a failure as a practitioner or even as a person’ is easy and common, and shame may be the resulting emotion. Even if criticism may be useful feedback, providing constructive opportunities to learn from mistakes, it is more often felt by people as an attack on, and a sabotage of, their self-confidence, and this commonly produces a defensive reaction, rather than leading to the person listening and reflecting. In these circumstances, learning from mistakes becomes almost impossible.

Shame as a state of being is, one hopes, rare among social workers, but many people may have experienced this feeling to some degree during their careers. Nevertheless, mechanisms of denial and selfdefence strongly affect the quality of any intervention, and they may lead to a refusal to constantly engage in the ‘maintenance’ of personal work tools, such as continuing training. By contrast, understanding and sharing even the feeling of inadequacy produce more resilient social workers and better interventions.

To support the concepts outlined, this chapter presents some examples of reflective writing by social workers and social work students who performed in-depth structured reflection on some of their most significant experiences in relation to this issue during research workshops conducted by the author. Some of the outcomes included: a sense of lack of personal and organisational resources and skills, strong empathic reactions to difficult situations faced by service users, complex relationships with colleagues and managers.