Introduction

It is now becoming clear that the relationship between place – being from the UK and living in an urbanisation in Spain – shapes the kind of networks that women form and is also influenced by their translocated positionalities. For Cynthia, Celia, Mabel, Margot, Mabel, Agatha and Myra, fulfilling the quest’s goal was possible because they were able to overcome a number of obstacles. Bernice and Viv were satisfied by living a heterolocal life, enjoying the best of both worlds, spending part of the year in the UK and part of the year in Spain, while Enid, disillusioned by the Costa Blanca, planned to find an alternative place in the sun. Deirdre, Agnes, Vera and Jenny found a number of obstacles insurmountable and wanted to return to the UK, although Jenny was thwarted by her husband’s reluctance. Both Joy and Olive, although staying in Spain, were ambivalent about being there. Neither wanted to return to the UK, but life in Spain for them was far from idyllic. The previous chapter depicted women’s life on the margins in Spain and drew some parallels with their pre-migration lives, presenting this as yet another obstacle to fulfilling the quest’s goal of belonging and community.

In this chapter I focus on a final obstacle to women achieving a successful life in Spain, and perhaps this is the most important one: missing children and especially grandchildren left behind. I explore how these different groups of women manage and negotiate family responsibilities in the UK and how location within gender, or in this case, being a grandmother – and to a lesser extent being a mother – is part of the migration experience (Ryan and Webster, 2008). I consider how women reconcile, reject and reconceptualise traditional notions of being a mother and grandmother once they have left the UK (Ackers, 2000; Ryan, 2004) and how this can sometimes be at odds with being a wife. It becomes clear that different migration trajectories and positions reflect conflicting feelings, perceptions and experiences.