Sabha got far more worked up by the topic of incivility than welfare entitlements, acknowledging the Parenting Payment (PP) (partnered) and Family Tax Benefit (FTB) she received with complacent pragmatism. The mother of three had lived in Australia for the last 15 years after migrating to marry her Pakistani-Australian husband. Family benefits supplemented earnings from her husband’s work as a security guard. Like most of the people I interviewed, she named following the rules as the main obligation of citizenship: ‘I think follow the rules and everything comes in rules, the traffic lights and when you go to the bank you need to make a queue, this kind of small things make a big difference. If you did these things you feel good and your country will be much beautiful.’

Sabha compared Australia with Pakistan, where she had grown up:

For Sabha, following traffic rules and etiquette expressed mutual regard and the commitment to be civilised. But the orderliness of life in Australia was not the country’s main drawcard for Sabha. She missed her family and wanted to return to Pakistan, but said she never would. Her husband had diabetes and healthcare and medicine was free here, in Australia, and expensive in Pakistan. Her children’s schooling and future was here, and she wanted to stay with them. The care about others expressed through public order and the care for others provided through the welfare state for Sabha symbolised Australia’s status as a civilised country.

Listening to Sabha talk about the importance of giving way at the intersection brought to mind Ghassan Hage’s (2003) fable in the final chapter of his book, Against Paranoid Nationalism.