Elsie moved in with us at the beginning of February 2010, and died in our home on 15 January 2011, a day after what would have been her 60th wedding anniversary, had my father still been alive. Every week for those 11 and a half months, and much more often towards the end, when it became every day, Elsie was visited by Yvonne Jackman, a nursing sister working for St Luke's Hospice.

The first time Yvonne visited, she sat down at the edge of the bed, and said to Elsie, ‘I will never lie to you.’ She kept her word. She was honest, caring, fearless. I don't know of course how Yvonne got on with other patients (and I suspect she got on brilliantly with them), but from very early on I got the feeling that Elsie was special to Yvonne. Elsie was so alive, so witty, so willing to discuss and engage with anything. She didn't complain to Yvonne – she was clear that there were things she would rather not endure, but in the midst of dying she could experience pleasure. We all loved the visits from Yvonne. She was very different from us in many ways, and a committed Christian, but she was, above all, respectful of us all. It was not just that she offered help, but also that Elsie could accept and appreciate what Yvonne had to offer. Louise often says that there is a generosity in being able to receive from others, and we could see this in Elsie.

Another source of support was the practice where our GP, Alan Wood, works. For a time, we were at Colinton Surgery practically every week. There was always a physical concern that Elsie had about this or that symptom or sore place – a lot was going wrong with her body. But as Elsie got to know almost all the doctors and other staff, and they got to know her, there was much more to these visits. They were pleasant outings to a place where Elsie would feel safe and be heard. Just as my gratitude to Yvonne and St Luke's Hospice endures, so does my gratitude to Alan and Colinton Surgery. They really helped us.

Elsie was not much for spirituality but as she got closer to death, she asked to see a rabbi.