Introduction

The previous chapter examined the quantitative data derived from criminal justice records, medical records and surveys, and highlighted the salience of gender, age and particular case characteristics that feature in parent abuse. However, this quantitative data needs to be understood in context, and this chapter draws on qualitative data derived from original and other published research to offer insights into how parents conceptualise and understand their lived experiences of ‘parent abuse’. For example, how do parents describe the different forms that ‘abuse’ can take (ie, verbal, economic, physical and emotional abuse)? How do parents understand its emergence and escalation in interactions? How do parents manage the tapestry of contradictory emotions that parent abuse produces? The chapter concludes by examining the immediate and long-term impact of parent abuse, for both parents and other family members.

Abusive behaviours in the child–parent relationship

As previously discussed, family abuse can take a number of forms (ie, physical, emotional, financial and sexual abuse, and neglect) and some of these forms are more pertinent than others depending on which family members are involved. Thus, the ways in which ‘the child–parent relationship’ is organised and practised in particular contexts shapes what particular forms of parent abuse can be made possible. This section explores parents’ accounts of living with abuse from their children, identifies the forms of abuse that are pertinent in cases of adolescent-to-parent abuse and discusses how the organisation and practice of the child–parent relationship enables particular abusive tactics to manifest in everyday interactions.

Verbal abuse

While often categorised as a type of ‘emotional abuse’ in the family abuse literature, verbal abuse requires its own consideration in cases of parent abuse because of (a) its relative frequency compared to other forms of parent abuse and (b) its emergence as the first form of abuse to manifest in the development of a ‘parent abuse dynamic’. Furthermore, parents describe verbal abuse in ways that suggest that they think of it as distinct. For parents, verbal abuse constitutes:

• • yelling or screaming at the parent (“in my face”, as one parent has described);

• • using derogatory and insulting names;

• • swearing and using other offensive language.

Of course, what is often considered ‘everyday teenage behaviour’ may, from time to time, involve similar behaviours that serve to challenge the hierarchy of power within the child–parent relationship.