Before examining case examples of nonviolent resistance, we must first deal with some common assumptions that contribute much to parental ineffectiveness. Although these assumptions have often been dealt with in the literature, they are still quite prevalent. We thus feel the need to clear the field once more.

Aggressive behaviors are only “symptoms” of deeper psychological problems. This assumption may weaken the parents' determination to resist the child's negative behaviors, for dealing with mere “symptoms” may be not only useless, but also harmful. Dozens of studies have relegated this belief to the realm of superstition by showing that treating “symptoms” does not cause the situation to get worse or lead to the appearance of new ones. In fact, quite the opposite is the case: directly treating negative behaviors commonly leads not only to local but also to more generalized improvements. This phenomenon is called the “ripple effect”: parents who used a consistent restraining policy to stop the child's damaging behaviors not only reduced these behaviors, but also improved the child's functioning in other areas over time. Conversely, opting for a permissive and acceptant approach toward these behaviors led to their worsening and to a more negative prognosis over time (Bates et al. al. 1998; Baumrind 1971, 1991; Chamberlain & Patterson 1995; Eisenberg & Murphy 1995; Florsheim, Tolan, & Gorman-Smith 1998; Hetherington, Cox, & Cox 1975; Patterson et al. 1992).

The best answer to the child's aggressive behaviors is individual psychotherapy.