Book contents
- Frontmatter
- Contents
- Editorial Practice
- Abbreviations
- Introduction
- The Tragedy of Crusoe, C.S.
- Twenty Years After
- Dis Aliter Visum
- De Profundis
- The Unlimited “Draw” of “Tick” Boileau
- My Christmas Caller
- The History of a Crime
- Prisoners and Captives
- “From Olympus to Hades”
- “Les Miserables.”
- A Nightmare of Rule
- What Came of It
- An Official Secret
- Le Roi en Exil
- A Scrap of Paper
- The Mystification of Santa Claus
- “Love in Old Cloathes”
- The Case of Adamah
- A Tale of ’98
- A Rather More Fishy Case
- The House of Shadows
- The Confession of an Impostor
- The Judgment of Paris
- Five Days After Date
- The Hill of Illusion
- Le Monde ou L'On S'Amuse
- An Intercepted Letter
- The Recurring Smash
- How Liberty Came to the Bolan
- “Under Sentence”
- The Dreitarbund
- In Memoriam
- On Signatures
- The Great Strike
- “The Biggest Liar in Asia”
- Deputating a Viceroy
- A Merry Christmas
- The New Year's Sermon
- New Year's Gifts
- Mister Anthony Dawking
- “The Luck of Roaring Camp”
- The Wedding Guest
- The Tracking of Chuckerbutti
- “Bread upon the Waters”
- A Free Gift
- A Hill Homily
- The “Kingdom” of Bombay
- Bombaystes Furioso
- A Day Off
- The Unpunishable Cherub
- In Gilded Halls
- “Till the Day Break”
- The Fountain of Honour
- The Burden of Nineveh
- His Natural Destiny
- That District Log-Book
- An Unequal Match
- A Horrible Scandal
- An Exercise in Administration
- My New Purchase
- Exercises in Administration
- The Dignity of It.
- Exercises in Administration
- In Wonderland
- In the Year ’92
- “A Free Hand”
- Susannah and the Elder
- The Coming K
- What the World Said
- An Interesting Condition
- The Comet of a Season
- Gallihauk's Pup
- The Inauthorated Corpses
- One Lady at Wairakei
- The Princess in the Pickle-Bottle
- Why Snow Falls at Vernet
- The Cause of Humanity
- appendices
- Glossary
Bombaystes Furioso
Published online by Cambridge University Press: 12 November 2018
- Frontmatter
- Contents
- Editorial Practice
- Abbreviations
- Introduction
- The Tragedy of Crusoe, C.S.
- Twenty Years After
- Dis Aliter Visum
- De Profundis
- The Unlimited “Draw” of “Tick” Boileau
- My Christmas Caller
- The History of a Crime
- Prisoners and Captives
- “From Olympus to Hades”
- “Les Miserables.”
- A Nightmare of Rule
- What Came of It
- An Official Secret
- Le Roi en Exil
- A Scrap of Paper
- The Mystification of Santa Claus
- “Love in Old Cloathes”
- The Case of Adamah
- A Tale of ’98
- A Rather More Fishy Case
- The House of Shadows
- The Confession of an Impostor
- The Judgment of Paris
- Five Days After Date
- The Hill of Illusion
- Le Monde ou L'On S'Amuse
- An Intercepted Letter
- The Recurring Smash
- How Liberty Came to the Bolan
- “Under Sentence”
- The Dreitarbund
- In Memoriam
- On Signatures
- The Great Strike
- “The Biggest Liar in Asia”
- Deputating a Viceroy
- A Merry Christmas
- The New Year's Sermon
- New Year's Gifts
- Mister Anthony Dawking
- “The Luck of Roaring Camp”
- The Wedding Guest
- The Tracking of Chuckerbutti
- “Bread upon the Waters”
- A Free Gift
- A Hill Homily
- The “Kingdom” of Bombay
- Bombaystes Furioso
- A Day Off
- The Unpunishable Cherub
- In Gilded Halls
- “Till the Day Break”
- The Fountain of Honour
- The Burden of Nineveh
- His Natural Destiny
- That District Log-Book
- An Unequal Match
- A Horrible Scandal
- An Exercise in Administration
- My New Purchase
- Exercises in Administration
- The Dignity of It.
- Exercises in Administration
- In Wonderland
- In the Year ’92
- “A Free Hand”
- Susannah and the Elder
- The Coming K
- What the World Said
- An Interesting Condition
- The Comet of a Season
- Gallihauk's Pup
- The Inauthorated Corpses
- One Lady at Wairakei
- The Princess in the Pickle-Bottle
- Why Snow Falls at Vernet
- The Cause of Humanity
- appendices
- Glossary
Summary
Published: Pioneer, 16 April 1888; Pioneer Mail; 18 April 1888; The Week's News, 21 April 1888.
Attribution: In Scrapbook 4 (28/4, p. 56).
Text: Pioneer.
Notes: The title puns on that of W. B. Rhodes's Bombastes Furioso, 1810, a popular burlesque. A follow-up to ‘The “Kingdom” of Bombay’, to which the Times of India had imprudently replied.
‘Bombaystes Furioso’ has been reprinted in the Martindell–Ballard pamphlets and in Harbord, iv, 2018–21.
Oh! What will Your Majesty please to wear –
Shoddy or fustian or piebald down?
Will Your Majesty look at our bill of fare?
Will Your Majesty wait till we take you down?
Bombastes Furioso (adapted).Once more the Presidencies and the Provinces gathered upon the Central Indian plains to discuss the day's dâk. For half an hour no sound broke the silence but the ripping of dockets and the fluttering of newspapers. At the end of that time Madras chuckled audibly: “Joseph objects to being pitted,” he said. “Who? What? ‘Nother scandal? I beg your pardon, Madras,” said Bengal. “No, Bombay, my brethren.” Madras plunged into the paper afresh and laughed. “Just as I expected. What a nickel plated prig it is!”
“Let's hear. Don't keep it all to yourself,” said the Punjab, who was fresh from a long parade and was rather sleepy. “Any more Empires been born lately in Mazagaon or the Mahim woods? What is the matter with our Thrice Puissant Sovereign now?”
“He says,” began Madras, clearing his throat. “He says:– ‘Don't you think yourself awfully funny neither?’”
“Doesn't sound exactly like a leading article,” said the North-West, “give us the ipsissima – no, imperialissima – verba.”
Madras read:– “The refined women and educated men who read the Pioneer must appreciate the delicate wit of ‘lifting a man by the slack of his ducks’.” “What did I tell you,” said Bengal. “You up-country men behaved shamefully at that Court-martial. Of course he goes on the ‘culchaw’ tack and the Saturday Review lay. You gave him an opening.” “Gave him a good deal more than that. It was a shutting up,” said the Punjab stroking his moustache. “Never mind. Let him have his little morality.
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- Information
- The Cause of Humanity and Other StoriesThe Cause of Humanity and Other Stories Uncollected Prose Fictions, pp. 221 - 225Publisher: Cambridge University PressPrint publication year: 2018