A PARADOX

FAMILY WAS A key mechanism of Britain's presence in China, but, paradoxically, the empire could place familial relations under an intolerable strain. For middle-class men, it might offer adventure and opportunity, but for women, the dominant features were more often the risks and uncertainties that such a life entailed. Whereas, by the 1860s, Shanghai's International Settlement could provide a relatively secure and comfortable way of life, in the other treaty ports, the foreign communities were less well-established, and, in Peking, there was only a small, albeit, cosmopolitan world centred on the foreign legations. For the wife of a young British official or semi-official entering that world, it was largely a matter of chance whether she would find herself living in settled surroundings or in a remote out-port, with little or no social or material support. This was the challenge that faced the wives of the three Hillier brothers, who so far, have, been only briefly mentioned and whose empire lives are considered in more detail in this chapter. Examining how they both shaped and were shaped by their experiences, it explores why they were willing to take on such risks, the circumstances they encountered when they arrived and the identities they went on to forge for themselves and their families, both in China and at home in England.

We have seen in earlier chapters the tensions that the distance and demands of an overseas life could impose on familial relations and the litany of early deaths that were so much a part of that life. This pattern would be repeated in the next generation: Walter's first wife, Lydie, would die in childbirth, and Harry's first wife, Annie, would also die young, leaving him with a daughter to be cared for; Walter's second wife, Clare, a ‘new’ and independent woman, keen to fulfil her own personality, would not be able to accept the constraints of life as a consular wife and the ensuing divorce proceedings would leave a bitter legacy for her and the three children; by contrast, Harry and his second wife, Maggie, would enjoy a seemingly companionate marriage, but for that very reason, would find extremely stressful the long periods they had to spend apart;