Experts in attorney professional development believe that the ability to seek and receive meaningful feedback is one of the most critical attorney traits. According to founders of the Holloran Center, Neil Hamilton and Jerry Organ, seeking out feedback is a key element in becoming a self-directed, professional attorney. There is no doubt that receiving feedback gracefully is incredibly important to your career. In the words of law Professor Pamela Foohey, “Getting and receiving feedback is the ultimate part of any professional job. A person's ability to accept feedback depends on the circumstances of the job and what the feedback is about. Being able to recognize how to give feedback changes with context and is super-EQ.”

Yet feedback, and self-awareness in general, is not always pleasant. For example, not long ago, my husband and I (Professor Martin) helped a friend of a friend fill out the eHarmony questionnaire to help him find a good relationship. He had been slipping into harmful relationships for a long time, perhaps a lifetime. He is not much of a computer guy, so we helped with the initial form. As he filled out the questionnaire, he gave himself a six (the top score) in every category. The computer programeventually shut him down, deciding he was not an actual person. We do not know him well, but a lifetime of experience told us there had to be something for which he was not a six. We suspected it might be self-awareness.

As another example, I recently learned that I have a great propensity to start many things, but not much of a drive to finish them. I did not learn this on my own. Someone told me. Actually many people may have told me, but we all wait until we are ready to learn our own blind spots. This chapter is designed to help you learn yours. Once you do, life is easier.