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20 - Hurt Feelings and the Workplace

from PART V - HURT IN APPLIED CONTEXTS

Published online by Cambridge University Press:  04 August 2010

By
Michael R. Cunningham ,
Anita P. Barbee  and
Eshita Mandal
Edited by
Anita L. Vangelisti
Anita L. Vangelisti
Affiliation:
University of Texas, Austin
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Summary

In Western societies in the first decade of the 21st century, a majority of adults spend nearly half of their waking hours working as paid employees in private or public organizations. From the moment that an individual applies for a job to the moment that the person moves on to another opportunity, is terminated from the position, or retires, there are abundant opportunities for hurt feelings.

We define hurt feelings as a form of emotional distress that may be experienced predominantly as sadness and depression but also may include sensations of anger, anxiety, and guilt. May and Jones (2007) distinguished between introjective hurt (feeling sad, engaging in self-blame, and wondering what one did wrong) and retaliatory hurt (yelling at, blaming, confronting, and feeling angry toward the offender) and suggested the two types have different dynamics. Yet, such feelings may be mixed, as we discuss later. The central element of hurt feelings is a sense that another person devalues the relationship (Leary, Springer, Negell, Ansell, & Evans, 1998), has rejected the self (Fitness, 2001), or has transgressed (Vangelisti, 2001).

Hurt feelings can be painful in any type of relationship, but hurt feelings may have particular intensity in the workplace. Although workplace relationships tend to be less close and personal than romantic relationships or friendships formed elsewhere, social acceptance in the workplace is associated with material as well as emotional well-being.

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Chapter
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Feeling Hurt in Close Relationships , pp. 417 - 456
Publisher: Cambridge University Press
Print publication year: 2009

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