The author explores key issues related to psychotherapeutic work with people who self-harm. Particular attention is given to the powerful countertransference feelings that practitioners often experience in this work and the importance of managing these. Rather than maintaining a detached distance, therapists should emotionally engage with the patient's experience, creating a unique therapeutic relationship. The common patterns, functions and meanings of self-harm are discussed, with clinical vignettes that highlight the underlying dynamics of the behaviour. Self-harm is a survival stratagem, and methods for helping patients to find other ways to cope are suggested. One such is mentalisation, which can enhance the patient's capacity to think, not impulsively act. If patients learn how to assess more accurately their own and other people's states of mind, less destructive behaviours can emerge.