To be sung to the tune of Gilbert and Sullivan's Modern Major General:
I am the very model of a genius mathematical,
For I can do mechanics, both dynamical and statical,
Or integrate a function round a contour in the complex plane,
Yes, even if it goes off to infinity and back again;
Oh, I know when a detailed proof's required and when a guess'll do
I know about the functions of Laguerre and those of Bessel too,
I've finished every tripos question back to 1948;
There ain't a function you can name that I can't differentiate!
There ain't a function you can name that he can't differentiate [Tris]
I've read the text books and I can extremely quickly tell you where
To look to find Green's Theorem or the Principle of d'Alembert
Or I can work out Bayes' rule when the loss is not Quadratical
In short I am the model of a genius mathematical!
For he can work out Bayes' rule when the loss is not Quadratical
In short he is the model of a genius mathematical!
Oh, I can tell in seconds if a graph is Hamiltonian,
And I can tell you if a proof of 4CC's a phoney 'un
I read up all the journals and I'm ready with the latest news,
And very good advice about the Part II lectures you should choose.
Oh, I can do numerical analysis without a pause,
Or comment on the far-reaching significance of Newton's laws
I know when polynomials are soluble by radicals,
And I can reel off simple groups, especially sporadicals. […]