Book contents
- Frontmatter
- Contents
- Preface and Acknowledgments
- 1 Introduction to the Minding Concept
- 2 Minding: Definition and Components
- 3 Knowing and Being Known by One's Partner
- 4 Attributions in Close Relationships
- 5 Acceptance, Respect, Reciprocity, and Continuity
- 6 Beginnings and Endings
- 7 Minding in the Close Relationship Literature
- 8 Minding and Other Major Concepts of Closeness
- 9 Evidence about Minding in Close Relationships
- 10 An International Perspective on Minding
- 11 Minding in Couples Therapy and Counseling
- 12 Limitations and Future Directions
- References
- Index
8 - Minding and Other Major Concepts of Closeness
Published online by Cambridge University Press: 14 September 2009
- Frontmatter
- Contents
- Preface and Acknowledgments
- 1 Introduction to the Minding Concept
- 2 Minding: Definition and Components
- 3 Knowing and Being Known by One's Partner
- 4 Attributions in Close Relationships
- 5 Acceptance, Respect, Reciprocity, and Continuity
- 6 Beginnings and Endings
- 7 Minding in the Close Relationship Literature
- 8 Minding and Other Major Concepts of Closeness
- 9 Evidence about Minding in Close Relationships
- 10 An International Perspective on Minding
- 11 Minding in Couples Therapy and Counseling
- 12 Limitations and Future Directions
- References
- Index
Summary
Passion always troubles the clear depths of sincerity, except when it is perfectly in order. And passion is almost never perfectly in order, even in the souls of the saints.
Thomas MertonIn this chapter, we compare minding to other global conceptions of relationship closeness. We have selected these conceptions because they represent influential positions on how people may achieve and maintain closeness and satisfaction in their close relationships. In teaching a course on close relationships, the first author has found the first three conceptions discussed to be quite cogent to students. The ideas in these analyses speak clearly to individuals about many of their relationship dilemmas. They offer thoughtful, timely, original responses to queries that defy easy solutions. For example, the merit of Merton's quote which opens this chapter is quite apparent in the logic of Beck (1988), who believes that passion can lead to trouble if not accompanied by care in thought and interpretation of behavior.
As we explain, these positions also have elements in common with the minding model. They do not reflect all of the possible relationship theories with which minding could be compared. They do, however, reflect representative lines of reasoning that pervade the contemporary relationship literature on closeness. These treatments include: Beck's (1988) contention that “love is never enough” to achieve and maintain closeness, Schwartz's (1994) description of the relationship of the '90s called The Peer Marriage, Wallerstein and Blakeslee's (1995) depiction of The Good Marriage, and Glasser's (1995) analysis of what he calls “control theory” in his book Staying Together.
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- Information
- Minding the Close RelationshipA Theory of Relationship Enhancement, pp. 137 - 156Publisher: Cambridge University PressPrint publication year: 1999