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Published online by Cambridge University Press: 30 June 2022
But when they came to shape the model,
Not one could fit the other's noddle.
BUTLER.Meanwhile, the last course, and the dessert, past by. When the ladies had withdrawn, young Crotchet addressed the company.
MR. CROTCHET, JUN.
There is one point in which philosophers of all classes seem to be agreed; that they only want money to regenerate the world.
MR. MAC QUEDY.
No doubt of it.Nothing is so easy as to lay down the outlines of perfect society. There wants nothing but money to set it going. I will explain myself clearly and fully by reading a paper. (Producing a large scroll.) “In the infancy of society— ”
THE REV. DR. FOLLIOTT.
Pray, Mr. Mac Quedy, how is it that all gentlemen of your nation begin every thing they write with the “infancy of society?”
MR. MAC QUEDY.
Eh, sir, it is the simplest way to begin at the beginning. “In the infancy of society, when government was invented to save a percentage; say two and a half per cent—.”
THE REV. DR. FOLLIOTT.
I will not say any such thing.
MR. MAC QUEDY.
Well, say any percentage you please.
THE REV. DR. FOLLIOTT.
I will not say any percentage at all.
MR. MAC QUEDY.
“On the principle of the division of labor—”
THE REV. DR. FOLLIOTT.
Government was invented to spend a percentage.
MR. MAC QUEDY.
To save a percentage.
THE REV. DR. FOLLIOTT.
No, sir, to spend a percentage; and a good deal more than two and a half per cent. Two hundred and fifty per cent.: that is intelligible.
MR. MAC QUEDY.
“In the infancy of society”—
MR. TOOGOOD.
Nevermind the infancy of society. The question is of society in its maturity. Here is what it should be. (Producing a paper.) I have laid it down in a diagram.
MR. SKIONAR.
Before we proceed to the question of government, we must nicely discriminate the boundaries of sense, understanding, and reason. Sense is a receptivity—
MR. CROTCHET, JUN.
We are proceeding too fast. Money being all that is wanted to regenerate society, I will put into the hands of this company a large sum for the purpose. Now let us see how to dispose of it.
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