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six - Being older

Published online by Cambridge University Press:  07 September 2022

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Summary

Age is a relative phenomenon as well as an absolute one. What does it mean to say that A is older than B? What is the significance of age for the relationship between two people? If A is chronologically older than B, can B be older than A in other ways? Well, regarding that last question, I remember at the age of 21 being the proud owner of a second-hand Austin A30 and being taught to drive by my younger brother who, unlike me, had passed his driving test first time: an example of how the teacher-pupil relationship does not necessarily reflect differences based on chronology.

Parents and children

The parent–child relationship, possibly more than anything else, socialises us as children into a social order that incorporates age. It is probably fair to say that relative age first impinges upon our consciousness when we absorb as fact that our parents are not just taller, heavier and stronger, but also older than us. They’re ‘grown up’, adults; we’re just ‘kids’. The distinction could hardly be starker.

Birthdays are numbered and when we learn to count, perhaps around our third birthday, we realise that thirty-something (or however old our parents might be) is an awful lot older than three. Moreover, our fourth birthday seems a long way off, never mind our 34th. So we quickly learn that interpersonal age differences can be indicated by number and by generation.

Childhood birthdays are complicated events. The fact that on that day you are a ‘special person’ creates various tensions and anxieties, and some of these may survive well into later life. Here is how one Mass Observation (MO) writer described her childhood birthdays:

Looking back at my childhood my parents always made a great fuss of my birthday – there was a big party, lots of presents & a ‘rainbow’ cake.

However I can remember lots of the birthdays somehow went wrong by the end of the day & ‘ended in tears’ usually because I got what they called ‘over-excited’. Looking back I think my parents expected so much from my birthday – I always had a new frock made by my mother – usually something frilly & decorative.

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Unmasking Age
The Significance of Age for Social Research
, pp. 117 - 136
Publisher: Bristol University Press
Print publication year: 2011

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  • Being older
  • Bill Bytheway
  • Book: Unmasking Age
  • Online publication: 07 September 2022
  • Chapter DOI: https://doi.org/10.46692/9781847426192.006
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  • Being older
  • Bill Bytheway
  • Book: Unmasking Age
  • Online publication: 07 September 2022
  • Chapter DOI: https://doi.org/10.46692/9781847426192.006
Available formats
×

Save book to Google Drive

To save content items to your account, please confirm that you agree to abide by our usage policies. If this is the first time you use this feature, you will be asked to authorise Cambridge Core to connect with your account. Find out more about saving content to Google Drive.

  • Being older
  • Bill Bytheway
  • Book: Unmasking Age
  • Online publication: 07 September 2022
  • Chapter DOI: https://doi.org/10.46692/9781847426192.006
Available formats
×