Skip to main content Accessibility help
×
Home
Hostname: page-component-99c86f546-pkshj Total loading time: 0.403 Render date: 2021-12-02T02:04:39.742Z Has data issue: true Feature Flags: { "shouldUseShareProductTool": true, "shouldUseHypothesis": true, "isUnsiloEnabled": true, "metricsAbstractViews": false, "figures": true, "newCiteModal": false, "newCitedByModal": true, "newEcommerce": true, "newUsageEvents": true }

Chapter Eighteen

from And the Shark, He Has Teeth

Published online by Cambridge University Press:  07 September 2018

Benjamin Bloch
Affiliation:
Oberlin College
Marc Silberman
Affiliation:
University of Wisconsin
Get access

Summary

The six months came to an end and my son's contract expired. I had given some thought to staying in Paris to continue my projects, when my wife wrote that my mother was coming to visit us from London. I hadn't seen her in fourteen years. I decided to return to New York with Wolfgang. Most of all, I didn't want to be apart from my wife any longer. It was financially impossible for her to join me in France. Once I'd returned, there was no way we could both go.

My son and I embarked from Le Havre in February of 1947. My mother came to New York and fell seriously ill. She fought with death for many weeks. There were other heavy shocks: the death of my friend Borchardt. The death of Kurt Weill. The death of my mother-in-law, who had lived with us since 1941. In 1950 my son was drafted into the Korean War, a great misfortune for my wife and me. Wolfgang's consolation, “You can't be against communism and let the others fight!” didn't make it any easier for us.

I took walks or exercised, cooked our meals, read a lot, and met my friend Vambery in the evenings. We walked slowly along the river in the heat, and I dreamed out loud about the beauty of the stained glass windows of St. Chapelle. Vambery observed: “You always talk about the beautiful exterior—you don't know anything about what's inside!”

I couldn't get away from this thought; it wouldn't let itself be shaken off. How could I find out about what was inside?

At the house of Klaus Dohrn I made the acquaintance of Baroness von Guttenberg, whose son was a member of the West German Parliament. She lived in New York and collected money for children who had lost their parents owing to the war or expulsion. We talked about my interest in meeting with a priest. I wasn't thinking of converting, nor was I looking for an intellectual discussion. I simply wanted to come in contact with someone whose faith was absolute.

Type
Chapter
Information
Publisher: Boydell & Brewer
Print publication year: 2018

Access options

Get access to the full version of this content by using one of the access options below. (Log in options will check for institutional or personal access. Content may require purchase if you do not have access.)

Send book to Kindle

To send this book to your Kindle, first ensure no-reply@cambridge.org is added to your Approved Personal Document E-mail List under your Personal Document Settings on the Manage Your Content and Devices page of your Amazon account. Then enter the ‘name’ part of your Kindle email address below. Find out more about sending to your Kindle.

Note you can select to send to either the @free.kindle.com or @kindle.com variations. ‘@free.kindle.com’ emails are free but can only be sent to your device when it is connected to wi-fi. ‘@kindle.com’ emails can be delivered even when you are not connected to wi-fi, but note that service fees apply.

Find out more about the Kindle Personal Document Service.

Available formats
×

Send book to Dropbox

To send content items to your account, please confirm that you agree to abide by our usage policies. If this is the first time you use this feature, you will be asked to authorise Cambridge Core to connect with your account. Find out more about sending content to Dropbox.

Available formats
×

Send book to Google Drive

To send content items to your account, please confirm that you agree to abide by our usage policies. If this is the first time you use this feature, you will be asked to authorise Cambridge Core to connect with your account. Find out more about sending content to Google Drive.

Available formats
×