Dear Abbe,
Last week, one of my students returned to the lab to finish up an experiment and claims as she viewed her cultured cells under the microscope that they kept telling her to “use the force!” She feels that the cells were telling her to expand her studies to include atomic force microscopy, while I think they were urging her to get on with the already planned experiments with optical tweezers. As someone knowledgeable about all things small, what do you think is the correct interpretation of her cells' message?
Perplexed in Tennessee
Dear Perp,
First of all, if you are trying to imply something about my being “knowledgeable about all things small,” let me ASSURE you that I have NO problems in that area. But as to your question, it is possible that they were referring to either AFM or optical tweezers. It is possible that she simply misheard them. If these were CHO cells, they can have a very difficult accent to comprehend, and if they were HEK 293 cells, well then all bets are off since these snarky cells are well known to be lazy roustabouts who simply like to stir up trouble. Is it possible that they said, “Use the horse,” in trying to get her to switch to E. Derm (NBL-6), an equine dermal fibroblast line, or even “Use the fourths,” in an effort to improve a musical composition? While unlikely, they may even have been trying to steer her towards the research of my dear friend John “Pinkie” Schwartz of the Des Moines Still College of Osteopathy. Pinkie was great at culturing cells. He not only got a line of endothelial cells to appreciate Wagner, but as a party trick they would, on command, shout “May the Schwartz be with you.” Cracked me up every time! I myself have only heard cells speak outloud on a very few occasions, and I usually ended up waking in a strange hotel room with a splitting headache afterwards. If it were me, I would autoclave the snippy little jerks.
If you hear your cells speaking to you, you need Herr Dr. Abbe's advice more than most researchers. Make a recording and send it to Dr. Abbe's faithful clinical assistant at jpshield@uga.edu.